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Feb. 25th, 2007
So you may or may not have been aware that I'm having a dilemma of sorts about what I want to do when I graduate. Do I want to go to graduate school, or library school? If so, what do I want to go for? Believe it or not I do not have to go for medieval studies. Yeah, so. There are no easy answers. Right now it seems like every decision is crucial but really... not so much. It is important but not all consuming.
The funny thing is that all the people I don't want to hear advice from are running up to me, eager to help out, while the two or three people I actually want to sit down and talk to about it are always unavailable. ^_^ That's life I suppose.
Now, I believe it is time for the annual Christina disclaimer.
I am, for the most part, a direct person. Usually I keep my opinions about important things to myself, not for fear of what other people think, but because most people get upset and/or offended when I actually tell them what I think about things. I am not deliberately mean, but I also don't have much sympathy, empathy, or tolerance to deal with bullshit or self - pity. (Of course I'm not perfect, and I wallow in self - pity just as much as the next person). So things that I say may or may not hurt your feelings and I'm sorry if they do upset you...however.
Also, I'm a fairly good friend I think, for the most part. In no way perfect, but I try to be there for people. However, there are a couple of things you can do to damage my friendship with you pretty thoroughly. If you throw things in my face that I told you with the understanding that they were important to me, it's a major problem. If you lie to me about something, another problem. I may hedge with people, but I try to never tell outright lies about anything. The thing is, once you break my trust in you, you never get it back. That's not to say we won't be friends, but it won't be the same, no matter how much I might want it to be.
I hang on to people as long as I possibly can. I try to be as forgiving as possible, but I don't forget things. I have an incredibly long memory. I do not hold grudges, but I do not forget things, and yes there is a difference.
I have a lot of 'principles', I have a pretty strong honor code, I suppose. It was instilled in me and Jess both by our parents. It's not that I don't see and understand how other people 'work' but at the same time I will not break my own code and I have a very difficult time trying to sacrifice my principles...for anything. I don't try to change other people (or at least I try really hard not to, I really don't want to push my beliefs etc. on other people) and I resent it when people try to change me.
After saying all that, I want to say that I am not directing this towards anyone in particular, but Jess encouraged me to put more things in here about myself; so there you go.
I try really hard to be a good friend and a kind person, but at the same time I do not have a problem saying fuck you to people either. This is my journal, and I suppose, if you don't like what I say, don't read it.
The funny thing is that all the people I don't want to hear advice from are running up to me, eager to help out, while the two or three people I actually want to sit down and talk to about it are always unavailable. ^_^ That's life I suppose.
Now, I believe it is time for the annual Christina disclaimer.
I am, for the most part, a direct person. Usually I keep my opinions about important things to myself, not for fear of what other people think, but because most people get upset and/or offended when I actually tell them what I think about things. I am not deliberately mean, but I also don't have much sympathy, empathy, or tolerance to deal with bullshit or self - pity. (Of course I'm not perfect, and I wallow in self - pity just as much as the next person). So things that I say may or may not hurt your feelings and I'm sorry if they do upset you...however.
Also, I'm a fairly good friend I think, for the most part. In no way perfect, but I try to be there for people. However, there are a couple of things you can do to damage my friendship with you pretty thoroughly. If you throw things in my face that I told you with the understanding that they were important to me, it's a major problem. If you lie to me about something, another problem. I may hedge with people, but I try to never tell outright lies about anything. The thing is, once you break my trust in you, you never get it back. That's not to say we won't be friends, but it won't be the same, no matter how much I might want it to be.
I hang on to people as long as I possibly can. I try to be as forgiving as possible, but I don't forget things. I have an incredibly long memory. I do not hold grudges, but I do not forget things, and yes there is a difference.
I have a lot of 'principles', I have a pretty strong honor code, I suppose. It was instilled in me and Jess both by our parents. It's not that I don't see and understand how other people 'work' but at the same time I will not break my own code and I have a very difficult time trying to sacrifice my principles...for anything. I don't try to change other people (or at least I try really hard not to, I really don't want to push my beliefs etc. on other people) and I resent it when people try to change me.
After saying all that, I want to say that I am not directing this towards anyone in particular, but Jess encouraged me to put more things in here about myself; so there you go.
I try really hard to be a good friend and a kind person, but at the same time I do not have a problem saying fuck you to people either. This is my journal, and I suppose, if you don't like what I say, don't read it.