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chrisrinTonight I'm feeling kind of silly and a little young.
I have grown up and matured a lot since high school, and most days I can see these changes and embrace them. On other days I realize how self-centered, negative, and egotistical I can be, and it's like I'm right back in high school, slumped in my seat feeling sorry for myself.
When I graduated high school I was thrilled, I loathed high school with a passion, and triumphantly crowed to anyone who came close enough that I was done with high school and I was never going back.
The truth is that high school was less about my surroundings and more about my own attitude and perceptions. In part my hatred of high school was due to the apathy of those around me, the harsh rules, and the strict limits placed on my creativity, but the other part was all about me, and how I reacted to these limits, rules, and people.
For better or worse part of me will always be that girl back in high school, cynical and miserable. The self-centered teenager I was, is part of the 21 year old quasi-adult I am today, and the 50 year old adult I will be. Graduating high school or turning 18 or moving out of your house or becoming a parent does not ultimately grant you maturity, kindness, and understanding while banishing your fear, naivety, awkwardness, and cruelness. In fact everyday I encounter 'adults' who are as manipulative, deliberately cruel, close minded, apathetic and self-centered as any teenager I ever met in high school.
In the end I feel like the world is just a bigger version of that much loathed building defined by its endless rows of lockers, smelly gymnasium, scarred cafeteria tables, and bathroom stalls scrawled with the graffiti of scared, vulnerable, hateful, cruel, and lonely teenagers writing out the details of their romances, and feuds with uniformly bad handwriting.
High school wasn't all bad though (I can say that now with four years of distance ^_~), there was so much potential and hope for more. In the so-called real world of adults, this potential thrives right along with the thorn-ed rose bushes.
I believe that part of being an adult is about learning how to confront my own faults, and inadequacies, and to learn to be kinder and more understanding of those around me. I believe that being an adult is remembering to give myself second chances and to grant others the same. Finally, I believe that being an adult is about learning how to forgive others their faults because I have quite a few of my own. (These are all variations on a theme, but I think it's worth it to take the time to emphasize something I struggle with doing.) Just some of my thoughts...
I have grown up and matured a lot since high school, and most days I can see these changes and embrace them. On other days I realize how self-centered, negative, and egotistical I can be, and it's like I'm right back in high school, slumped in my seat feeling sorry for myself.
When I graduated high school I was thrilled, I loathed high school with a passion, and triumphantly crowed to anyone who came close enough that I was done with high school and I was never going back.
The truth is that high school was less about my surroundings and more about my own attitude and perceptions. In part my hatred of high school was due to the apathy of those around me, the harsh rules, and the strict limits placed on my creativity, but the other part was all about me, and how I reacted to these limits, rules, and people.
For better or worse part of me will always be that girl back in high school, cynical and miserable. The self-centered teenager I was, is part of the 21 year old quasi-adult I am today, and the 50 year old adult I will be. Graduating high school or turning 18 or moving out of your house or becoming a parent does not ultimately grant you maturity, kindness, and understanding while banishing your fear, naivety, awkwardness, and cruelness. In fact everyday I encounter 'adults' who are as manipulative, deliberately cruel, close minded, apathetic and self-centered as any teenager I ever met in high school.
In the end I feel like the world is just a bigger version of that much loathed building defined by its endless rows of lockers, smelly gymnasium, scarred cafeteria tables, and bathroom stalls scrawled with the graffiti of scared, vulnerable, hateful, cruel, and lonely teenagers writing out the details of their romances, and feuds with uniformly bad handwriting.
High school wasn't all bad though (I can say that now with four years of distance ^_~), there was so much potential and hope for more. In the so-called real world of adults, this potential thrives right along with the thorn-ed rose bushes.
I believe that part of being an adult is about learning how to confront my own faults, and inadequacies, and to learn to be kinder and more understanding of those around me. I believe that being an adult is remembering to give myself second chances and to grant others the same. Finally, I believe that being an adult is about learning how to forgive others their faults because I have quite a few of my own. (These are all variations on a theme, but I think it's worth it to take the time to emphasize something I struggle with doing.) Just some of my thoughts...
